Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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