So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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