I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
