i think i have herpe
just one?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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