Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
