I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
