We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
