Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
