so explain again why im purple
no
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
