Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
