Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
that may or may not have been my penis.
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