In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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