fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
