Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
