Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
