what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize