Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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