Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
