Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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