May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
