dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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