Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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