Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
is that a dick in a sweater?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
