never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
