I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
