dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
