Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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