dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
