Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
