where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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