none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
