Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
