She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize