I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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