allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
