just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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