with your own penis?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just threw up on my dentist
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it glows. i had to have it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
