While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
