I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
