i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Found the puke drawer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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