Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
