my vag is so smooth its legendary
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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