i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
