no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
