He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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