oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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