apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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