don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
