All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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