yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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