they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
