Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
