Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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