This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
