Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize