Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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