im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
