He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
