dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
