So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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