I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
