dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
