either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
